Articles

step parents...parenting..

So okey been married for oh 8 years now and yeah why oh why did i do it! My husband appearently can't stand my kids. I have 2 older childer one of which birthday was yesterday and he couldn't even wish him a happy birthday! No when I asked him about it because I was very mad he saided that he was done. I said why are you still here and he said for me. What a crock of pooey!  He jurt me by treating my son that way. I don't get it thats forsure. How can you hate a child so badly. Why do I stay with him well good question. Some days I wonder that as well. It is not like my kids get beat up or anything but they avoid the hubby as much as they can. Hubby says they don't listen to him and kids say he ignores them I am not always around so I am not sure what goes on when I am not home. I treat his kids with respect and wish them happy birthday and I am the one who buys there gifts at holidays but my kids get shit from him. Don't know which way to go. tired so darn tired.

drunken stuper truth or not

 So I am told that when one is drunk that their true feelings come out. Meaning if you like someone you definetly show it some how or if you don't like someone there would be no secret left to that. I think back to when I am drinking I know I can not lie and as my little brother and friends will tellanyone I preach not to drink and drive worse than when I am sober. So I am thinking that maybe that it is true. So in a drunken stuper  honesty will prevail and come out over anything else most of the time. Sometimes it could be good but others it could be really bad. Oh the things that come out when one is drinking. Just my thoughts.

my life..

Well lets just say AI have not had the perfect life (thank goodness) but there are some things that I look back on now and wonder really if it was just a dream or reality. Is it normal to think back to younger years and ask yourself if you really did something? Nothing I did as a child seems to bad till I hit my teenage years then it all went to hell in a hand basket. I got into a lot of trouble and do I mean a lot I know I blamed my parents who were split up at the time for it all but really I just wanted to get away form it all. I was never suidicidal (sorry if spelt wrong) but I just didn't like myself or anything around me. Funy now that I lik back and remember somethings that maybe weren't so bad after all. then again there are still so many things I look at and wish I cold have changed, but really with me persay. I use to look at everything so negitively and never saw any good. It was hard to keep a nice boyfriend when I only saw the worst in him. Or I would pick some scum bag who I thought I had feelings for just so I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I am over this kind of thinking now since I have met a friend online years ago who infact I have never met face to face but have talked to many times online and off. He is my insperation you could say. I like my life for the most part really and don't look at everything so badly now but I still wonder if my life was just some dream world I thought up and thats what I choose to remember. hmm guess I shall really never know but will look forward to moving on from here. happily married with 5 kids (2 his 2 mine and one ours). well time will tell.
out for now